One year ago today, my mother died peacefully at the age of 93. A few weeks before she passed on, I sent her a letter. Here I share it with you as one example of a legacy letter. I do this in fond remembrance of her. Dear, Dear Mama, Many years ago, when I found this card, I thought I’d send it to you with my love letter written inside, in my own handwriting. I saved it for that purpose,…..
My mother recently died. She was 93 years of age, and she was “ripe and ready.” I believe this with my whole heart, and that helps me accept the fact I’ll never see her again in this lifetime. She expressed to me her readiness more than once. Considering all the circumstances with which she lived these last few years, and especially her final few weeks, I totally get it. Enough is enough. And I believe the end-of-life feels better to…..
Many years ago, I had a young colleague named Danielle. We worked on isolating virus cultures in a laboratory, side-by-side under sterile hoods; and often our conversation meandered to stories of our respective families. Danielle had recently become engaged and was enjoying the preliminaries to her wedding, which was still some months away. Danielle had one sister, and their elderly parents were happily married, healthy and enjoying their respective retirements in the small rural town where she was born. Mostly,…..
Saturday was our wedding anniversary. One year since we were married. One year since that wonderful day, a day that was almost perfect in every way. After twelve years, living as husband and wife, we wanted to make it official. We chose to experience the joys of saying “I do,” of toasting each other and consecrating ourselves to each other in front of witnesses. With only 48 hours of pre-planning, our family made this special ceremony possible; and afterwards they…..
If You Knew What if you knew you’d be the last to touch someone? If you were taking tickets, for example, at the theater, tearing them, giving back the ragged stubs, you might take care to touch that palm, brush your fingertips along the life line’s crease. When a man pulls his wheeled suitcase too slowly through the airport, when the car in front of me doesn’t signal, when the clerk at the pharmacy won’t say Thank you, I don’t remember…..
A variety of experiences of death informed and influenced my life. They are reference points for my acceptance of death and expectation of the unexpected. As you read my short vignettes, perhaps you can reflect on your own reference points, how they have influenced your life, and your acceptance of its end. *** One day Lizzie, our female cocker spaniel, was alive; the next she was dead. How did I know? I could hear Dizzy, our male spaniel, as he…..
I am still getting used to it. I promised you I’d write about you, about us. This is harder to do than I thought it might be. A promise is a promise. We had twelve amazing years together. For these I give thanks every day. The last year was a rough one. From your diagnosis of pancreatic cancer till your death we had a mere seven months. Seven mindful months. Seven months to say goodbye. Seven months is not enough……
In my last year of high school, I had a pair of older friends who married fairly young. When they would go out together, they sometimes asked me to come along to be a companion to a visiting out-of-town friend whose name was Brent. Our double dates, if you want to call them that, were always platonic because Brent was destined to become my friends’ brother-in-law. He was engaged to the younger sister of the female, and his fiancée lived…..
The following is an excerpt from our book. When Grandma died at the age of seventy-seven, I was thirteen. Grandma had breast cancer, discovered after it metastasized into her back, and the pain there was unbearable. Her stoicism kept her from complaining for a long time. In the late 1960s there was very little that could be done to slow the progression of such a significant spread of the disease. Perhaps now would be no different. I do not recall…..
In Journey’s End: Death, Dying, and the End of Life, it is our privilege to compile a great variety of content and resources. We have several goals for their use: To serve as educational tools in the training of professionals, students and volunteers To help and support families and friends as they prepare for and live through times of dying, death and bereavement To add to the cultural conversation and comfort level with the topic of death and dying Chapter…..